Are There Still Seats For "Honey I Shrunk the Kids"?

It was the weekend of June 23, 1989. Back when there was freedom from the chain of social media and people had experiences with each other instead of "phoning" it in, as it were. Back when the only information you got about upcoming movies was anything you could collect from TV, Starlog Magazine, or Famous Monsters of Film Land. It was an amazing summer for movie goers. Major League, Field of Dreams and Last Crusade had just released. But as far as anyone was concerned there was only one weekend to look forward to, 6/23/89. For a young little Hillal, that was a major weekend in movie releases, because for the past few months all I had any awareness of, was a little teeny tiny independent film called HONEY, I SHRUNK THE KIDS. To say The Disney Channel played in my house growing up was an understatement. My father got cable hooked up and come hell or high water it was going to be watched. It was a steady stream of HBO, Cinemax, ESPN, and Disney Channel. During the mornings, and early afternoons, before and after school, it was either Mousercise, Merry Melodies, Dumbo's Circus, and whatever else the house of mouse had to offer. Because this was one of the most prevalent channels it was an excellent vehicle for the studio to advertise their upcoming movies. In this instance, they advertised the hell out of HISTK.

The commercials advertised a special effects extravaganza. A feat for the eyes that had not yet been beheld before. (Somehow I missed the INCREDIBLE SHRINKING MAN AND/OR WOMAN on late night TV.) There was danger, excitement, romance, giant bugs, and adventure as big as your backyard! It pumped this little SF/X junkies heart to dangerous levels. And when the commercials weren't airing there were the "Behind the Scenes Specials." Man, I used to love those. When there would be a dedicated program that would air, with interviews and actual behind the scenes footage of the movie you were about to see. It not only pumped you up for the movie, because you would be planted in front of the TV going, "Look at that! There's a giant broom! Whoah, they just jumped 15ft onto a bunch of mats and cardboard! Whoah, I guess there's a part with a giant bee, can't wait to see that." They were like extended 22 minute trailers that kicked your little brain into hyperdrive. And when your at an age where you understand that the things you see in the movies aren't real, your filled with a sense of, how did they do it? Those behind the scenes specials gave you a brief glimpse into how they did it. And that there was planning and designing and thinking involved, it was like being let in on a secret. I didn't know what else was opening that summer and I didn't care. HISTK was going to be my jam. I don't know how many hours I spent playing in my father's office, re-enacting the scenes I saw on all those specials. He had this huge sectional leather couch that left a good size gap in the corner of the room. Just large enough for me to hang on the edge of the couch and pretend I was being flung around by a large bee that flew quickly through the air. The same leather couch also provided just the right amount of springiness to launch myself into the air so that I could imagine I was being flung into the trash. He also had a rowing machine in his office that was used more frequently to drape clothes on rather than work out, which I would use to pretend I was being tossed around by a giant ant. This was also the first time I had seen or heard of "blue screen." Which had only fueled my imagination as I pretended to toss myself all around my poor dad's space. I wasn't imagining that I was in the jungle like atmosphere of a giant backyard, but on a movie set with a huge blue screen behind me. To say I was excited for this movie was an understatement.

That weekend my mom took me, my brother, and my sister to see it. I was bubbling like an agitated soda on the way to the theater. The plan was for my mom to drop off to pick up the tickets while she took my siblings around to park the car. It was a solid plan, and my first time buying tickets to a movie by myself. I rehearsed my line all the way to the theater. "Four for Honey I Shrunk the Kids please. Four tickets to Honey I Shrunk the Kids please." This was not only the day my dreams came true, but I would also become a man. We drove past the theater box office so that I could be let out, and my elation went from 11 to 1. There was a line around the corner for tickets. I had never seen that many people lined up at a movie theater before. It was as if the entire world descended on this one theater in a devious plan to prevent me from seeing this movie. I began to panic and get upset. My mom was concerned over how many people there were and suggested we see the movie another time. I said I wanted to wait in line and at least try. I hopped out of the car and jumped into line while my mom went around the corner street to find parking. Which, as it would turn out, would take a while due to so many people being there. Leaving a 9 year old me not just fretting about not seeing my movie, but wondering where my mom had disappeared to.

The wait was excruciating. But to the credit of the theater employees it moved at a steady enough pace. Clearly they had done this before. One thing that struck me odd, was how little families were in line with me. It seemed to be a line full of older teens, and a combination of young and middle-aged men. Hardly any women or girls, and very few kids my age. Which I thought odd considering this was who this movie was geared for. Whatever, I pushed the thought from my head. All that mattered now was getting a ticket. I decided that if I couldn't get a ticket to the show time we had arrived for, I would get one for the immediate next one. After all, what would my mom say? No? The tickets would have already been bought. But considering that my brother was only 3 at the time, there was a strong chance that she would return the tickets and we would just go home until the next time.

Finally, I made it to the front of the line just as my mom and my brother and sister came into view. They were closing the gap between me and them very quickly and I didn't have much time for pleasantries from the box office employee. I needed to get some information quickly, so out I squeaked, "Do you have any tickets left for Honey I Shrunk the Kids?" The employee gave me a cocked eyebrow as if to say, "Really?" It was at this point that I began to look around, like really look around, and begin to take stock of what was happening around me. One of the traits that everyone in line shared in common with each other was a penchant for t-shirts and ball caps. Not just any old t-shirt or ball cap. Very specific t-shirts and ball caps. Batman related t-shirts and caps. There were also Batman posters all over the wall of the exterior of the theater. Something began to creep up into my mind that perhaps everyone in line wasn't there to see HONEY, I SHURNK THE KIDS, but instead were there to see the also simultaneously released Tim Burton version of BATMAN

The box office employee looked at me and charmingly said, "Yeah, I think there might be a few tickets left." And printed me out four tickets for HISTK The movie was, what the movie was. Its not a very good movie looking back at it now on the other side of thirty years of age, but at the time..IT BLEW MY EVER-LOVING MIND! It released to VHS not that long afterwards, and then when DVD came out I began to transition everything I owned to the digital standard. Everything except HISTK. For some reason I never got around to adding it to my collection. Even now that blue-ray is available, its still one I don't find a need to own. I'm not quite sure if it holds up now that we're sixteen years past the year 2000. Something tells me it doesn't. There are a few that do, but I'm almost positive this one won't. Who knows? Maybe I'll give it another shot sometime soon.

I do wish though, that I could say the incident with the ticket box was a solitary, isolated incident. But sad to say, it would occur again a mere eleven years later. And this time I would be twenty years old.

THE LION KING, Disney's latest foray into the world of Broadway was due to arrive in Los Angeles in the year 2000. In 1998 I had attempted to see the Lion King while I was in New York. I waited two hours in line for standby tickets but to no avail. THE LION KING was one hot ticket and had been boasted as a delight for the eyes no one had ever seen before. This was also the age when ticketing online still wasn't as wildly used as it is today. Back then, there were still Ticketmasters you could go and visit in person in order to get tickets to events. One Saturday morning I went to the closest Ticketmaseter location I could find the day tickets to LION KING were to go on sale. This time I drove myself. I arrived at the Ticketmaster, and there was a line around the block. "Great," I thought. "Everyone's here for LION KING tickets. I'll probably have to settle for some crappy seats if I want to see this. Two hours later, I made it to the front of the line, and to the guy selling tickets. I asked him, "Do you know if there are still tickets available for Lion King?" The guy gave me a cocked eyebrow as if to say, "Really?" I looked around and took stock of the young and middle aged men in line. Most of them with long hair, short cut off black shorts, Doc Martin's, and a lot of t-shirts for RAGE AGAINST THE MACHINE. Hanging around the store were also posters that read, RAGE AGAINST THE MACHINE: BATTLE FOR LOS ANGELES. I looked back at the guy selling tickets and he said,

"Yeah, I think there might be a few tickets left."